Anger Management

There are loads and loads of books, seminars, shows, treatments etc. etc. for "Anger Management", "Short Temper" blah blah... To me, they are all the same. What varies is only the degree of anger, the tolerance level of each individual. I strongly feel that if one can control the momentary loss of temper, he can go a long way in diminishing, if not eliminating, anger from his life. My answer to this is the most effective but the most difficult one to achieve. Whatever the case, the best thing to do when you can feel your top blowing up is to remain silent. It takes a LOT to do this. The least benefit is that you do not damage anything. By damage, I mean damage to property, damage to relationships, damage to your own dignity etc. etc.. Some wise man once said, "Arrow, words and time will never return". So better not say things which you never meant to. It can cause irreparable damage.

Agree, it is certainly easier said than done. But I have a few ways to pull myself to shut my mouth when that is the vent my anger is looking for. The moment I feel the itch on my tongue, I force myself to think of the universe, space, galaxies and what not and remind myself of how minute a creature I am and how insignificant, how futile this fight is to the cosmos. Then I tell myself that I am not a very virtuous person. So, I should try my bit and exercise control over such meaningless "pleasures". After all, its all mind over matter. I also try to recollect all those unpleasant memories I have because I blabbed something someday somewhere in anger. In the end, I hammer it in my brain that by speaking now, I am gonna be the one at loss by all means. I might get instant pleasure by yelling immediately but I'll multiply the bitterness and carry it longer with me. Anyway, just yelling results in nothing at all. It is a weak man's vent to his anger.

With all the above and more, I realized that my anger did not melt instantly. It took its own sweet time. But I did not budge to the calls of my ire to blurt out curses and swear words. And in less than 2 minutes, I had a heavenly feeling. I reckon that the bomb squad must be feeling that way after diffusing a bomb. Also, at leisure, if I recollect 2-3 such instances, I feel I made my life better, if not anybody else's.

Gradually, I started behaving better with people. I took things more lightly and did not over react to a situation. I started respecting people more and believing that everybody is good. I started laughing at situations that would earlier leave me fretting and fuming. For eg., I used to curse the rick guys who refused to come to the destination of my choice and feel like whacking them hard. Now, I just 'drink' my anger and move on to the next one. I used to feel like kicking those who break the queue. Now, I just request them with a smile. It may or may not work. But, if I get angry and shout at them, it WILL NEVER work. If not anything, I definitely feel I'm a more refined person and feel life is better this way. Give it a try, I am sure you'll not regret :P

Please note that by preaching suppression of squabbling and bickering, I am, by no means suggesting that one should not get angry over things that deserve to be corrected. For example, wrong policies in a company, corrupt politicians, pollution of environment, crime etc. should make one angry so that one can try his bit to change it. Even in this case, simply yelling will yield nothing :D... Remember, I said its only the degree that varies, the solution remains the same....