A Sunday with myself

I woke up early with a vague idea of how my Sunday would be.
My first decision was to go to office. I left home around 8.10AM and reached office, had a nice breakfast and reached my desk only to find out that I was not able to ping the machine that had my environment setup. That machine was in another office that is about 10kms away from this one. I decided not to get disheartened and waste my Sunday. Having come this far, I ran a few personal errands and then decided to go to a nearby theater to watch a movie, Billu. The choice was obvious 'cause this was the only movie which none of my friends wanted to watch. I reached the theater around 12.30pm and bought a ticket for the show at 2.20pm. I had a solid 2 hours for myself.

I always knew spending time with one's own self, at times, is rejuvenating. This day completely proved me right. First of all, I was extremely hungry. I decided not to binge and settled upon a green salad. But gave in a bit to my taste-buds and bought an Appy Fizz also. I happily gobbled them all.

I got up wondering what to do next. I am not too much of a 'shopaholic'. However, they say girls always have an unending wish list of things they wish to have someday. On the same lines, I had been wanting a particular type of skirt for an insanely long period. Every time I laid my hands upon one, either I had no cash, or I had just splurged money on a lot of other things, or I didn't get my size in that, or it was way too expensive for me to consider or I didn't like the fit blah blah. I had even decided to stitch one. Luckily (or unluckily :P), for me, I saw a 'Nun' showroom there. I had seen their red skirt on display and had even seen it on their website. I always adored it. The shop had a Flat 50% off offer and I greedily grabbed the skirt this time without thinking twice. This gave me a sense of accomplishment and I reluctantly agreed that shopping is a great way to unwind.

I still had some time left. So I did some more window shopping, called up my parents, called up friends and then started observing people. There were 2 guys playing a very good game of pool - solids and stripes. I watched them from a distance for a while, lest they become conscious. There was a TeleShopping joint and a girl was desperately trying to sell a hair-curler to a girl. Poor thing, she could just not curl her customer's hair and obviously, the buyer chucked it and moved on. The multiplex was swarming with people and surprisingly today, there were a lot of good-looking girls. Maybe because I was noticing only today. I saw some guys drooling over girls, saw some parents getting irritated over their young-ones' rants, saw the wares displayed in Archies gallery and then realised that it was time for the movie.

The movie had a Bollywood superstar being cast as a Bollywood superstar. So, I knew what to expect from it. I bought a cup of steaming hot tea for myself and managed to smuggle my Appy Fizz inside. The movie was crap but I enjoyed watching it. As usual, I laughed and cried along with the cast. Irfan Khan, the lead actor, was fabulous and Lara Datta, the actress, was cute, though I didn't expect her to act so much. As the movie was nearing its end, I could hear pesky kids getting impatient in the theater. The movie ended with a so-called emotional, but actually hilarious sentimental speech delivered by the Bollywood actor who played a larger-than-life role. I could just not control my laughter. I must mention it here. Apologies to those who cannot read Hindi. SRK said, "mera dost Billu tha.. usne apne kaan ke sone ki baliyan bechkar mere liye Mumbai ki tickets karaye. aur bache hue paise usne meri jeb mein dal diye.. maine kaha in paison ki kya zaroorat, to usne kaha ki kisi gareeb ki madad kar dena". And this was just a small part of all his 'comedy'. I thought, sometimes, movies also are a great way to unwind. Underline sometimes :) Anyway, the movie got over and I took a rick and came back to office feeling completely rejuvenated and ready to take on Monday.

At office, I found a couple of friends online, chatted with them, penned this blog and now, off I go..No A/C in office is making me sweat like a pig, so I should sign off.

It, indeed, was a Sunday I'll remember and cherish. After all, one needs to be gifted to experience all of this. Oh! Ya.. the movie made me realize that again.

Me, the aurora

I am extremely beautiful, resplendent and I completely delight one's senses. The very sight of mine refreshes people. People say, Pleasantness thy name is the early morn! Yet, I wonder why so few people see me. Those who do manage to see me have a very limited set of activities to do. Some are seen exercising, some are seen yawning and waiting at the airports, some are seen busily segregating newspapers, some are seen delivering milk and so on. I feel even though I fill every bit of freshness into people, they are not very eager to see me.

On the other hand, I envy the dark night. Though I give way to it, so that people get to sleep, I see the late night is so full of energy and life. And the activities performed by people are so varied. Although I agree that a vast majority of the people are busy sleeping, but those awake more than just make up for their absence. Its at this time of the day.. (er.. can I call it that.. well, whatever..) when I hear people chanting Life rocks! There's booze flowing, there are all illegal activities happening at its peak, there are fast cars and bikes zooming past on the roads, there are girls and boys having fun in many different ways. In brief, most of the activities happen to make life 'livable'.

Of course, the rest of the day is spent in endless pursuits, duties, whiling away time blah blah..

I know of a person called Amudha. She wants to see both me, the idyllic and blissful early morning and him, the zippy and mysterious dark night. But her body does not allow her to do that. She assumes its the same story with everyone else. Today was one of the days when she experienced my cool breeze and wondered why she ends up ignoring me and yearning for the Nox..

To each his own...

'Life' in the lift

Gone are the days when people used to greet each other irrespective of whether they knew each other or not. Or so it seems whenever I take the lift. Journey in the lift hardly lasts a minute. But I notice that everybody is uncomfortable and wants to get out of it as quickly as possible. Not only that, everybody makes a conscious effort to not even glance at each other, lest they might be in an 'awkward' position - not knowing whether to smile, whether to say hello or just look away. God forbid, if anybody does end up looking at someone eye-to-eye, they invariably choose the last option i.e. look away. People even go to the extent of acting as if they are 'texting' someone, or staring at their own shoe, or even better, simply closing their eyes and waiting for their 'floor' to arrive. But the attempt that beats all of this is the constant staring at the LED display in the lift that shows which 'floor' is next. It surely seems strange to me that people find it more comfortable to look at that non-living thing pointlessly than offering a simple smile to the other occupants of the lift. After all, aren't they also human and won't they reciprocate? And even if they don't, what do you lose?? Isn't it any day better than consciously striving to avoid human beings by taking the aid of small nothings in the lift? And they say its a global village.. To me, its so near yet so far.. Don't we prefer to 'ping' people than even talking to them on phone??

I often wonder if the excessive invasion of technology in our lives is resulting in all this.. Guess its a never-ending debate... Technology, surely is a necessary evil and now , a resident evil :P.. And the reason I am ending this post so abruptly is because my work is calling - And yes, my work is to add a drop in the ocean of technology.. :D

Hail Thom!

Nope.. I am not hailing him for winning the game of Scrabble that day. But its for this wonderful piece that he came up with. I can't stop raving about it. I understood the true meaning of elegance after reading it.. Here's his reply to my "poem":
[THOM]
i've tried twice to write a poem response but simply had to beat a retreat both times. But now I think by throwing out the requirement of rhyming, i'm able to express myself............

O triumph!!!
O shining crystal tower on the mount of overwhelming VICTORY!!!
Presiding over the vast plain of mediocrity and stale, barren, broken hopes --
Here I dwell !!!
[umm... and Bhavan too]
O supplicants,
O vanquished plains dwellers devoid of scrabble skills
Weep not !!!
Instead -- rejoice!!!
For you breathe the air
and you eat of the earth
just as me and Bhavan do !!!
You just don't metabolize it such that you end up winning games of scrabble


Actually, I sort of see myself fitting into the metaphor of this poem as the window washer in the crystal tower on the mount of overwhelming victory. I just kinda happened to be washing the windows when Bhavan won overwhelming VICTORY

[/THOM]

Ananth and I went down fighting!!!!!!!!

Saturday evening fiasco
----------------------------

It was a Saturday evening
Nothing about it was demeaning
In fact, it looked perfect for a game of Scrabble
Little did I know that in store for me was a squabble

I have nobody but myself to blame
'cause I tried to grab undue fame
We commenced the game with 2 teams
Rules were stated so that cheating is nobody's means

Bhavan and Thom were a pair
That put Me and Ananth to despair
Their first double-word score was Cozy
which, for us, was not all that rosy

Coffees were ordered
Our hopes were soon murdered
They made scores that they could flaunt
Still all I did was meaningless taunt

The game seemed to go on forever
Our team never got better
It was only once that we overtook their score
but soon we were left wanting for more

Triumph was theirs
All we had was tears
This time it was Thom's turn
to make my heart burn

All he said was to jot down my emotions
And here I am simply executing his suggestion

After all, the winner takes it all!!

Birthday(s)

Err.. I wonder if it sounds weird to say Birthdays. Obviously, because one can't have more than one birthday :P. Nonetheless, people celebrate their "birthday" every year religiously. Of course, the definition of celebration varies by leaps and bounds. I was never very comfortable with idea of celebrating birthday. The day one is born is gone, so what is there to celebrate every year. Moreover, that day the new-born would not even have realized that he was born. So, why celebrate a day when you were at the peak of your ignorance, when you were totally dependent on others.

Come to think of the traditions associated with birthdays and it completely defies logic. First and foremost is, of course, to cut a cake and blow candles. What does that signify? You could relate it to a million things but I can only think of it as a sure shot way to put on some unwanted calories and search for a place to keep so many candles that you might never use. Next comes the much dreaded birthday-bums. Now, what can I say about this age-old "tradition". Pain-in-the-a$$??? Oh! Come on, how can I feel I am celebrating something if I am being kicked hard on my you-know-where. Moreover, all of a sudden your friend-list multiplies to perform these 2 activities - eating cake and bashing you. That reminds me of the next birthday-torture - phone calls. The whole day your phone rings incessantly. Even at 12 midnight, for God's sake. All aunties, uncles, cousins, friends, old-enemies.. and oops.. I forgot, even mobile service providers, mall owners, jewellers, office HR people suddenly decide to shower all their love and affection on you on this special occasion. Ya, I completely believe that they were elated the moment you were born. Ohh.. how can I forget the most important part, namely, TREAT!! Yes, aren't you supposed to be "celebrating" your birth by taking all your hi-bye friends to the best restaurant available in town and blowing away all your hard-earned money. (I think I can now relate to the candle-blowing custom. It must be symbolically representing emptying your pockets)

Okkk.. I can hear you guys. I have completely ignored one other aspect of birthdays called gifts. Every year, its the gifts that make you feel wanted, that keeps you going, that makes you feel that all that you did against your wish was justified 'cause at least a handful of your friends had fun at your expense. You want to filter out and remember the nicest moments of the day. Of course, not because it was your birthday but because it was a day when some people showed that they cared and you know best as to which ones really meant it. One would be insane to derive conclusions based on the cost of the gift. Something as simple as a heartfelt thought is a big enough gift. So, if there were no birthdays, when would people tell their loved-ones that they mean a lot to them. Everybody has the option of doing it on any freakin' day, but the fact is that nobody does it. I understand all of this when I put myself in the shoes of the person attending a birthday party. By principle, I never attend birthday parties of people who mean nothing more than a useless weed to me. So, I wonder if I would have ever intentionally showed any friend of mine that I loved and cared for him/her and wanted him/her to be happy, had it not been for the person's birthday!! Maybe, maybe not.

So now I reckon that all celebrations, be it birthday, festival, any function, any get-together is all for a common reason. That is to feel lively enough to live. Giving and receiving love and affection is the crux. Feeling happy, doing masti and enjoying together is the motive. The rest of the things are add-ons (mostly not very logical but emotional, historical, traditional, cultural, religious blah blah) and hence get modified as time passes. So whether you make modaks for Ganesh chaturthi or not, you surely buy new clothes and at least, wish to go to dance in your society. Whether you even know the reason for celebrating Diwali or not, you sure want to burst crackers. I am not complaining though:P. After all, if it makes one happy, then why not do it!?

I had this mind-wave because those around me made this birthday of mine really really special. I felt so overwhelmed thinking of the day that I could not help but write this post. Irrespective of whatever they did for me on my birthday, I always knew that they loved me. Of course, they showed it in a million different ways throughout our lifetimes. However, this day just served as a day for me to specially sit back and rejoice my friendship with each one of them, to remind myself that I am amongst the very lucky ones. I used to have my own reservations about 'illogical' celebrations. But now, my opinion has slightly changed. To live life king size, celebration in some or the other form cannot be done without :D

Warning: Don't come charging to my house asking for a treat in return for your free (please note, I am not using the virtuous word priceless but the 'cheapo' word free) wishes, hugs, thoughts etc. etc. Do remember that I said that I can see through the ulterior motives of con men ;)

Anger Management

There are loads and loads of books, seminars, shows, treatments etc. etc. for "Anger Management", "Short Temper" blah blah... To me, they are all the same. What varies is only the degree of anger, the tolerance level of each individual. I strongly feel that if one can control the momentary loss of temper, he can go a long way in diminishing, if not eliminating, anger from his life. My answer to this is the most effective but the most difficult one to achieve. Whatever the case, the best thing to do when you can feel your top blowing up is to remain silent. It takes a LOT to do this. The least benefit is that you do not damage anything. By damage, I mean damage to property, damage to relationships, damage to your own dignity etc. etc.. Some wise man once said, "Arrow, words and time will never return". So better not say things which you never meant to. It can cause irreparable damage.

Agree, it is certainly easier said than done. But I have a few ways to pull myself to shut my mouth when that is the vent my anger is looking for. The moment I feel the itch on my tongue, I force myself to think of the universe, space, galaxies and what not and remind myself of how minute a creature I am and how insignificant, how futile this fight is to the cosmos. Then I tell myself that I am not a very virtuous person. So, I should try my bit and exercise control over such meaningless "pleasures". After all, its all mind over matter. I also try to recollect all those unpleasant memories I have because I blabbed something someday somewhere in anger. In the end, I hammer it in my brain that by speaking now, I am gonna be the one at loss by all means. I might get instant pleasure by yelling immediately but I'll multiply the bitterness and carry it longer with me. Anyway, just yelling results in nothing at all. It is a weak man's vent to his anger.

With all the above and more, I realized that my anger did not melt instantly. It took its own sweet time. But I did not budge to the calls of my ire to blurt out curses and swear words. And in less than 2 minutes, I had a heavenly feeling. I reckon that the bomb squad must be feeling that way after diffusing a bomb. Also, at leisure, if I recollect 2-3 such instances, I feel I made my life better, if not anybody else's.

Gradually, I started behaving better with people. I took things more lightly and did not over react to a situation. I started respecting people more and believing that everybody is good. I started laughing at situations that would earlier leave me fretting and fuming. For eg., I used to curse the rick guys who refused to come to the destination of my choice and feel like whacking them hard. Now, I just 'drink' my anger and move on to the next one. I used to feel like kicking those who break the queue. Now, I just request them with a smile. It may or may not work. But, if I get angry and shout at them, it WILL NEVER work. If not anything, I definitely feel I'm a more refined person and feel life is better this way. Give it a try, I am sure you'll not regret :P

Please note that by preaching suppression of squabbling and bickering, I am, by no means suggesting that one should not get angry over things that deserve to be corrected. For example, wrong policies in a company, corrupt politicians, pollution of environment, crime etc. should make one angry so that one can try his bit to change it. Even in this case, simply yelling will yield nothing :D... Remember, I said its only the degree that varies, the solution remains the same....